Everywhere we have lived, we have been surrounded by fabulous neighbors. I think the pattern started with our first house in Liverpool when we met the Robinsons. They lived across the street and were a family of four, two girls, two parents. When we moved in, we were still "married without children" so the Robinsons and our family knew each other, were friendly, but didn't really start to hang out until after Andrea was born in 1984. All of a sudden, I was a mom and had no clue what I was doing and Deb (the mom Robinson) didn't know what she was doing either so we muddled along together. :-) It set off a great friendship which would involve her entire family to this day.
Anyway, I have lots of Robinson stories, but one in particular I remembered today because I have to go out to work in the garden and I know there is a snake out there that greets me every time I am pulling weeds.
One day, after Andrea was born, I was home (I worked 2nd shift). I was in the kitchen and out of the corner of my eye I saw something move along the floor. I turned slowly, thinking it was my imagination, and dread filled my entire body as I realized it was a snake!! A snake in my kitchen!!
I grabbed the orange phone (which we still have) attached to the wall and stood on a chair and called Mark at work. I could barely be understood as I blabbered all sorts of hysteria to him about a snake in the kitchen and it must have come in through that crack in the basement wall and now we are infested and we need an exterminator and the snake is going to attack me and Andrea and we are not going to be alive when you get home so I hope you are happy that you said we couldn't afford to fix the crack in the basement wall now and you need to come home right away because I can't get off this chair and Andrea is taking a nap and I can't get down the hall to see her and I really don't like snakes.
There was a long pause at the end of my hysteria. I said "Mark?" and he said "Yeah?" I said "did you hear me? Are you coming home?" And he slowly and deliberately spoke these words "I'm sorry, but I can't."
Divorce papers flashed before my eyes. I realized that I was ready to end the marriage and move on to someone who would come home from work to kill a snake for me.
I hung up. He was ok with that.
I thought and thought and thought about how I was going to get off that chair.
And then, I remembered Dan across the street was home from work that day. I called him on the phone and pretty much explained the entire scenario in hysteria as I did for Mark. He said he would be right over!! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about right there!
If I were to describe the snake to you now, thinking about what I have said over the phone and the hysteria, etc., what size do you think it was?
Well, that's the size Dan thought it was too! He came over with a shovel and a bucket and work boots and gloves and looked like he was going to go after a Boa constrictor. I forgot to mention that the snake was about 6 inches long and the size of a pencil around!
Dan walked in the house with all of his equipment to take out this man-eating monster, and stopped in his tracks on the dining room rug. He put his hands on his knees and laughed and laughed and laughed. He said "I thought you said you had a snake in your house? This is barely the size of a worm!"
He picked it up gently (and I mean gently) and carried it outside and deposited it nicely in the garden.
I wanted him to tell Mark about the horrific scene when he showed up and how Mark should have been there for me, but instead Dan walked out of our house with all of his unused snake-killing equipment and laughing hysterically.
So the moral of today's story is that snakes always look bigger when you are alone! And no matter how tiny they are, slithering snakes should be avoided at all costs. AND neighbors that come to your rescue are fabulous even if they laugh at you. AND husbands shouldn't be divorced because they are working and providing for you in different ways than you would like. The end...
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