Sending God some help!

So while I was driving for over 11 hours today to PA for a Dr. Appt, Emilie was zonked out with all the meds she took so she wouldn't get motion sickness, I had lots of time to think.  Memories flooded my mind of vacations and laughing and holding hands and cousins that made me laugh and getting carsick with my dad driving and the many road trips Mark and I took together.  I began to think about how much of Emilie's life has been spent feeling lousy.  She hasn't been able to drive in 3 years, she doesn't read anymore and can barely watch TV for more than 30 minutes at a time.  She doesn't walk anywhere or ride her bike or go on trips.  Since Mark has been gone, I hear Emilie more and more getting up in the night than I ever did.  I think it's because my mind and ears were listening for Mark and hearing his TV most of the night and I missed the agony my daughter was going through night after night, day after day.  Now, it's more clear.  I see it and I don't like it.  So as I was driving today, I thought, well, Emilie Searle, you now have Mark Searle and D Carole Stanley in heaven to get this healing thing done!!  Finally!!!  and then, as if I drove into a giant hurricane force wind, I heard and felt the impact of my thought process.   It was as though I was saying "ok, finally, there is someone in heaven that can do something about Emilie's illness!"  WHAT??  Do I think that God needs reinforcements to accomplish this task?  Do I think that by our dear friend and her dad being in the presence of God, that somehow, someway, God will be nudged to do the "right thing?"  Do I think that God is weak and needed help? 

I guess I did... but if I can allow myself a glimpse into what heaven must be like, without illness, sorrow, jealousy, evil, worry, pain... I can see a different plan.  A plan that God sees and knows.

About a week ago, I sat at my friend Carole's bedside as she was becoming more and more weak.  She would close her eyes and rest and then open them and say "I know where I'm going and I'm not afraid."  Then she would look out through the glass doors of the ICU and point at the nurses and the doctors standing outside her room and shout "Do you know Jesus?  Because you should know Jesus!  Go get my doctor, I need to tell Him I'm praying for Him to know Jesus!"  ha ha ha... I love that about her. 

Carole suffered unlike anyone I have ever known to suffer.  Day after day after day she struggled to breathe and never once did I hear a word of complaint.  And now that I think about it, Emilie never complains either.  Not one of her friends would ever know what she goes through if her mom didn't mention it.  I wonder if people who trust God and His plan, no matter what, are the ones that keep their eyes on Him and not on their circumstance.  I wonder if they realize that God doesn't need help to accomplish His plan and that's how they keep their joy.  It's not in the circumstance, it's God Himself.