Monday, April 1, 2013

Don't be a fool - Love, Jesus


I never really liked practical jokes.  Mark did.  He used to do the “hold on, hunno, there’s a spider on your back” commentary just about every April Fool’s day that I knew him.  I fell for it every time.  After I was sufficiently hysterical, he would say “April Fool, there isn’t a spider on you.”  Not funny!!  I believe one year I was able to convince him that if he ever did that again, he would be living in the garage because he stopped tormenting me after that. 

This date, April 1, 2013, pops in my head every year because Mark lost his mom on April 1, 1990.  We were living in Gansevoort, NY (near Saratoga).  Our children were very small.   Andrea was 6, Michael was barely 4 and Emilie was just 6 months old.  A few times each year we would head back home to Syracuse to visit the grandparents and hang out for a long weekend.  This time, instead of heading straight to my parents for our overnight stay, we stopped at his mother’s to see her first.  The last time we saw her was in November for Emilie’s baptism at the Catholic church in Liverpool.  Mark’s mom had a very bad cold at the time so she only held the baby for a few minutes before handing her back to us, and then heading home.  So now it was spring again and Andrea was especially excited to see her grandma because the woman bought dozens and dozens of presents for each grandchild; I’m not exaggerating.  Andrea was at the age where she remembered these things well and couldn’t wait to get there and receive all of her surprises.  We pulled into the driveway and Mark’s brother, Gary, was there.  Gary was just stepping out of the house and walking toward his car.  We pulled in and gave him a shout out.  Gary asked Mark to come out of the car for a minute.  He looked bewildered.  Mark walked to the front step of the house and Gary and Mark were in a very serious discussion.  Mark called me over and said “My mother is in the house and Gary just found her.  She has passed away.”   I couldn’t believe it!  She was barely past 50!  She had been dealing with this cold and cough for many months and didn’t go to the doctor.  She died from pneumonia.  Gary and Mark contacted the police while I drove the children to my parent’s house.  As I was driving away, the ambulance was just coming down the road with its lights on, but no siren.  I don’t remember how I explained it to Andrea and the rest of the kids, but I do remember Andrea asking over and over again why she couldn’t get out of the car to see her grandma.  Over the next few days, Mark and Gary arranged for their mom to be cremated and without much fanfare, we drove her ashes to their camp in the Adirondacks and buried her next to her husband.  Mark and Gary cleaned out the house as best they could.  Gary, Kyong and Jenny moved in and made it their home.  At this point, I watched my husband lose his dad and his mom and both of his grandparents during the 13 years that I had known him.  It was amazing to me how stoic he was through it all.  He handled loss with such strength.  While Mark was in the ICU for the last 11 days of his life, I kept talking to him and telling him that something really sad was happening and he needed to wake up and hold me and the kids to help us like he always does.  This time, however, Jesus was doing the holding, and Mark didn’t have to be sad or strong anymore. 

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